His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
