he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's rum buckets o'clock
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
