im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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