Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
