doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
