Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
