if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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