tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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