Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
