Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
