Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
