So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
