hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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