I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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