seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
