so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
