i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
