at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
