yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
