yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
