Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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