Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
