New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
