State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
