Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
