gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
