That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Houston, we have a squirter
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
