whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize