your room smells of hookers.
And success
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
