He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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