North Korea, Best Korea!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
