we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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