you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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