Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
