I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
