i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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