My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
