She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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