you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
