I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i think im in europe. pls send help
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