that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She bit a glass in half.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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