drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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