Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
