the condom got lost in my hair
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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