Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
