She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wanna passion pit in your ass
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
