My nipple is on Facebook.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
