I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I am naked and annoyed.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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