he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
