My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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