Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
