You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
