she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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