i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
