p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
