He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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