he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
