According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Randomize
