STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
