allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
