Just cropdusted the office
Who did Billy Mays play for?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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