is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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